Go on a diet? Who, me? MEOW!!

Greetings and Salutations….

I am happy to report that my trip to the vet went well and I am in purrfect health.  They did mention that I could lose a pound or so, however.  That being said, the humans have taken it upon themselves to restrict my kitty treats….while the Orange Rat and Queen Jade-a-Roo get all they want.  I find this practice unfair and have taken matters in to my own hands to procure more treats…

Untitled-1

I will not suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous comments such as  “Kitty Weightwatchers” or “Kitty Treadmill” or <shudder> FAT CAT.  If I must resort to chasing the two resident impudent minions around to lose a few lbs, then I must.  Please feel free to comment if you have any suggestions.

A bientot!

cropped-sir-kitty.jpg

I’mmmmm Baaaaaack!

Sir Kitty here…. Yes, my friends, I am back from my well needed sabbatical.  Dealing with two adolescent cats wore me down, for as is the case with most adolescents, they do not listen to the wisdom of their elders.  However,  I realize that my loyal fans have been deprived of my most magnificent visage, so here it is for you to gaze upon in awe.

sir kitty11

This last month has been most trying for me.  I have had to use great patience with the two younglings in the house.  Orange Rat has been most provocative, pouncing on me during my time of repose, taking my spot at the top of the cat tree, and attempting to eat my food.  I have had to set him straight more times than I care to recall, but I think I have at last succeeded in getting through that hard pumpkin head that I am King of the House!

nugs executive evil1.9

The other youngling in the household, Miss Jade, has developed that annoying Siamese trait of yowling.  Talk about running your mouth with nothing to say!  Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow.  Sounds like an annoying old cat food commercial the humans were watching on youtube….  Speaking of annoying, one of the humans has dedicated a song to Jade.  If I hear one more rendition of Jade-a-roo, Jade-a-roo, what do you do? I think I will find inappropriate alternatives to my litter box.

jade queen

The big mama human has been cleaning and rearranging the house again.  I wish she would just leave things alone, but no such luck. I often find my current favorite napping places occupied by a box, a bag, or some junk called “scrapbook stuff’.  It is bad enough that the Orange Rat has taken over the sunny area by the back door, but now even my hidden places have fallen victim to the matronly maniac’s cleaning and re-stacking.  I often find my peace and quiet frequently disturbed by that big noisy green thing they call a vacuum cleaner.  Now she has added a smaller vacuum cleaner to the mix, claiming it is better used to pick up the cat litter that frequently is found outside the litter box.  Of course, she has to be referring to the Orange Rat, or even “Queen” Jade, for I don’t commit such socially unacceptable faux pas.

Another reoccurring issue is that of the soft claws that the big matriarch insists that we cats wear.  I have stood up for cat claw freedom and refused to have such balderdash cemented to my feet.  Unfortunately,  Orange Rat and Queen “Sleep All Day, Yowl All Night” Jade allow themselves to be demeaned by this most offensive of cat grooming items.  And just what color do you think the Orange one wears?  What else, ORANGE!  CATerwauling Jade sports an array of colors, but considering her lofty opinion of herself, I’m surprised she isn’t wearing diamonds or rubies on her nails…..CLAW FREEDOM FOREVER!

nugs spurs NO

NO KITTY CLAW CAPS!

We now come to the issue of cat treats.  I will start by admitting that I Sir Kitty and I am a Treat-a-holic.  There, I said it.  I absolutely love kitty treats.  In the days BORJ (Before Orange Rat and Jade), I was served these treats as befitting the King Cat that I am.  However, with the unfortunate addition of the four-legged carrot, treats have to be shared.  This situation further deteriorated when the Empress of Deafening Discord floated in on her silver cloud.  Whereas the tangerine twerp and I have to chase after our treats, Her Royal Highness sits upon her lofty cat tree and is actually SERVED hers!

Untitled-1

Am I not justified in my protest of this biased treatment?

Of course I am.

MEOW!

As always, my dear fans, comments or suggestions on how I can better deal with these two imbeciles will always be welcomed, along with praises and adulation!

A bientot!

sir kitty

Jade

Greetings, my fabulous fans, it is I, Sir Kitty once again.  I know you are all fascinated with my life, so I will now tell you about another cat that lives in my home.  As you all know, Thugget….errr….I mean Nugget, is the orange rodent with the full fluffy tail that parades around so smug and righteous.

nugs executive 1.9

I mean, oh please!  Look at that smug look on his face!

One day when Thugs…I mean Nugs and I were having one of our usual stand-offs…

nugs poo sir kitty 12.23

the humans came home making all kinds of ruckus.  I was so annoyed to learn they had brought in a new cat.

jade 2

This one they called “Jade”.  I thought she looked like a washed out version of me until I looked closer.

jade 1

She is a Siamese beauty with lovely eyes of azure blue and long white whiskers.

Definitely not the weirdo that Nugs is.  Instead, she is the most refined and elegant feline.  She basks in the sunshine, is willing to share the window sill, and has treated me with the utmost respect.  She does have one perplexing issue, but being a female, I’m not surprised:  She is noisy!  She chirps and trills and meows quite often.  She is a kleptomaniac, too.  She steals anything that isn’t tied or nailed down.  Shoes, dog toys, bags of strange items she finds, socks, pencils, you name it, she steals it.  I can always tell when she’s having one of her episodes because she starts meowing quite loudly.  She does not care for my furry friend Misty, but I figured it’s just a ‘girl thing.’

jade 4jade 3

She also loves boxes. Oh that I could get that ornery orange troll into a box, I ‘d seal him up and ship him off!

Unfortunately, she loves being with the little orange urchin, too.  I frequently have to jump for my life when the two of them are streaking through the house.  They cuddle together and groom each other, too.  I, however, only cuddle with my mama and no one grooms Sir Kitty but Sir Kitty!  MEOW!

kitties may 11 2015

They also nap together.

kitties july4

Did I not mention that he has a smug look on his face?  And check out that tail.  He is so proud of that hairy tail. Parades around with it held high all the time.  Just disgusting…

If it were up to me, I would send Nugs back and just keep Jade, but alas, it is not my decision.  So distressing….

I need a nip of catnip! A bientot!

sir kitty

A Tale of Two Cat Litters….

I will continue my narrative of the Orange Rat with as story I call “The Great Litter Box Controversy.” Two days had passed since I came home to find a cretinous creepy carrot top ruling MY kittenhood home,

nugs 12.10

watching the Spurs games with the family

nugs 12.7

sleeping on MY bed in MY room,

nugs 12.14 sleeping through spurs game

 lounging around on my couch,

nugs1playing with my toys

but thankfully, not using my litter box.

Want to know why?

The finicky fool didn’t like my cat litter!

Memo to baby blockhead – it’s not called the World’s Best Cat Litter for nothing, son!

This pompous pipsqueak had to have Fresh Step Cat Litter in his litter box. I heard it from a very reliable source that the brat didn’t use his litter box until the correct mix of Fresh Step and Exquisicat Crystals were added. Well let me tell you that I didn’t have any problems using either box. heh heh heh

I spent most of my days gazing out the kitchen window, staying clear of the treacherous twerp’s reach. He thought he was so shrewd, dashing about under my chair, oblivious to the fact that I could swiftly plunge down upon him with my razor sharp claws. The memory takes me to my happy place….

cropped-sir-kitty1.jpg

Being the most magnanimous feline, I eventually conceded to the presence of this pretentious pest. However, I did lay down the law: limits must be set and boundaries must be maintained. I no longer will withstand unprovoked hissing, unjust ambushes, and discourteous chasing. Two can play this game, sonny boy! mwahahahaha!  A bientot, my friends.

cropped-sir-kitty.jpg

The tale of the Orange Rat

sniffle>  Greetings my league of loyal fans.  I am sorry to have been away for so long, but I have been under the weather. <Ahhh-chooo!>  Yes, it would appear that my immune system was not up to par, for I caught a feline cold.  My mama whisked me off to that vet place (I will spare you the atrocities that I had to endure there) and the out come is that I am forced to drink this nasty white liquid called Clavamox.  I checked my PDR (Physician’s Desk Reference) and found that the vet did proscribe the correct medicine for my illness.  You can’t be careful these days, you know.

I’m sure you are all wondering how I caught this cold.  Well, believe me, I did not go looking for it.  Instead, it came looking for me.  The big orange creature that also lives in my house was so kind as to share his germs.  Wasn’t that just thoughtful of him?    He is such a boorish brute…sneezing all over the water bowls and in my face, too!  Such an uncouth cat,  Actually, I have fared much better, since I don’t need eye drops, but that is another tale. <aaahhh-CHOO!>

Now I must apologize that I haven’t spoken of the ORANGE rat before, but be prepared for edification now.

 nugs 12.11

THE ORANGE RAT

nugget baby This is the orange rat’s publicity photo..

2sir kitty1

I was much more photogenic.

sir kitty june26

And absolutely adorable, too.

As you know, my kittenhood home is precious to me.  It is a place of safety and warmth, with treats and praises showered on me as is fitting a fine Tuxedo Cat Extraordinaire.  After spending several months at my kittenhood home, my mama hauled me away to another abode, not as warm and comfy, nor very big for that matter. It was in some far away place called College Station where creatures called “Aggies” live.  My mama appears to be one of these “Aggies”…

aggie ring

Anyway, back to MY problem that started not soon after my arrival in Aggieland.  There were phone calls, text messages and photos jamming the airwaves between my kittenhood home and my Aggieland home.  The topic of conversation was not me, (I know, shocking, isn’t it?) but this orange rat thing.  I soon became nauseated with the barrage of photos…

1nugget baby

“Oh isn’t he just sooooo cute!”  “Oh he is soooo adorable”

 nugs1

  UGH!  And they had the nerve to give him my toys to play with!

nugs 12.7

Little orange creighton sleeping on my bed with MY feather toy..grrrrrrr

!nugs high tech kitty 12.11

The little ding a ling must think he’s Alexander Graham Bell…

I think you all get the picture.

Back to ME…I was just getting used to my new surroundings when suddenly I was awaken at the crack of dawn and rudely thrown in my crate, and tossed into the big rolling thing loaded with detritus and bags of debris. I spent the entire three hours of torture making my opinion known to the perpetrator of this atrocity, my mama. I didn’t even get any kitty treats to ease my discomfort!

We arrived at my old kittenhood home, where I was warmly welcomed and presented with a new jingle bell collar.  My old big furry friend, Misty was very happy to see me.

 poobear

It was then that I saw IT…the little orange…rat like thing…and it was wearing a jingle bell collar as well.

nugs 12.16 ready for santa

Just look at that face…..not as handsome as mine.

They called it Nugget but I renamed it Thugget. It had the audacity to hiss at me, even chased me a couple of times. ME, Sir Kitty! I couldn’t believe my whiskers. One of my own kind, too. Sad to say, but I stooped to the creature’s low level and returned a few hisses of my own.

nugs12.16

Lounging on MY bed.  I know, it’s disgusting…

I ventured into my old room, only to find that the little thug had taken over my bed AND my big crate.   Thank goodness my mama was there to make sure I could at least have a place to repose. (Even if it was at the foot of the bed, since the little brat was up on the pillows.) I spent the afternoon looking out my favorite window and avoiding the little freakish fiend. My mom and the rest of the humans departed, but not before leaving me locked in my room with the frightful furball enclosed in my big crate. The humans arrived back with a big green thing they called a tree. I found it very interesting, as did Misty and the dreadful little devil. Such was my “Christmas Vacation” to be spent with an orange barbarian.

cropped-sir-kitty.jpg

A bientot!

My half-siblings find their FUR-ever home!

I am so please to announce that the little minions have found their fur-ever home with a very nice family!  I can’t be more pleased that they will be pampered and showered with toys and delicious food, as this is all too fitting for any kitten related to me. I would post a photo, but I am not sure their new mother would approve, so you may view the happy family at the Facebook webpage for the Animal Welfare Society of Bandera County.  Look for the two happy little ones with their new family. I am so proud of my little brother and sister.  A bientot!

sir kitty

They are back and ready for adoption!

kitties

Luke and Leia are back from that vet place.  They seem to be just fine, too.  I hear talk that they will be going for adoption soon.  Being that they are related to me, I know they will make an outstanding pair of kitties for any human parent.  They have come a long way from the little rat like creatures found outside a couple of months ago.

babies3

Now is the time to step up, my fans!  Help Luke and Leia find a new home!

A bientot!

sir kitty

AND THEY’RE OFF!

kitties

Well, at least they are out of the house.  My half-siblings have headed to the “vet” to get “fixed” so they can find new homes.  Or at least that is what the chatter around this house is all about.  Which means that they will need you, my ardent fans, to share, share, share this information so that they will find a home together.  I thank you for your assistance in this adoption placement.  Once they have permanently vacated the premises, I can resume my role as head cat of the household.  MEOW!

A bientot!

sir kitty

My Half-Siblings Part Deux

babies3

My two wee half-siblings continued to grow and thrive on their every four hour feeding schedule.  Necessary for growing baby kittens, but only an annoying interruption for mature mousers such as myself.  However, I, being the magnanimous gentleman that I am, chose to ignore the constant interruptions to my sleep schedule.

babies6 weeks

The minions, now dubbed “Luke” and “Leia” after some famous movie I’ve never seen, eventually were weaned off the bottle and onto something savory called ‘gruel’.

1kitties

LUKE

2kitties

LEIA

Luke was the first to use the kitty toilet.  I hear it took Leia a few days more, perhaps because she didn’t have another female to go with.

 4kitties

These two were always roughhousing and making noises that I could hear from underneath the door jam.  I was an only kitten, so I have no idea what they were up to, and I was offended that I couldn’t at least go inside and see what was ado.

3kitties

Then one day, the luscious aroma of canned kitten food wafted through the house.  Anticipating that the big mama human had come to her senses and decided that I could once enjoy that which had been taken from me, I sprinted to the feeding station and waited.  I watched and was traumatized to see the delectible delight pass me by and enter the room where my siblings awaited.  Oh the infelineity!  The big mama human had decreed that I was to OLD for kitten food!   You would think she could have at least bought me some canned adult cat food!  Ah to endure the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune…

5kitties Blissful sleep for this precious pair.

In Part Three, I will have a big announcement regarding my precious little minions!   A bientot!

sir kitty

The Story of My Half-Siblings

Sir Kitty here…  I digress from the story of my wonderful life to mention the tale of my half siblings. I was rudely awaken early one morning by pandemonium in the hallway between the big mama human and the boy human. I listened intently from behind the closed door to see what all the brouhaha was about to discover that the boy human thought he was hearing things outside his window that sounded like kittens.  When the big mama human went to investigate, she did indeed find two small kittens.

babies1

When it was determined that the mother of these two grey and white beauties was indeed MY mother cat, I was shocked!  She had not abandoned me, so why would she do so to these two souls?  Then I recalled what a magnificent kitten I was, and pondered the obvious no more. Mid afternoon came and the weather took a turn for the worse.  Mother Cat was no where to be found for all these hours and it became evident to the big mama human that Mother Cat had indeed abandoned these two. These two babies quickly made it into the warmth and safety of the house where the tedious process of bottle feeding them began.

babies2

There was a thought being discussed between the humans that Mother Cat had others stashed away elsewhere.  As it turns out, that was not the case.  She just abandoned these.  Nice going, Mother Cat.  (I am so ashamed!).  babies5days

And so ends their first week.  Fat, healthy and full of milk.  Ah to be a kitten again!  A bientot!

sir kitty